REAL LIFE: FRIENDS

Real Life: Friends

"Why should I do what YOU say?"

Abby and Maria have been friends for a long time. Abby has been upset because Maria always decides where they are going and what they are going to do. Maria also tells Abby who she can be friends with. Abby feels a lot of pressure to do what Maria tells her to do.

Friendships can be complicated at this time in your life. You may be making new friends while you are trying to keep old friends. One thing that can make any relationship complicated is peer pressure. Peer pressure is when you chose to do something you usually wouldn't do, or you stop doing something that you normally would do because you are worried about what your friends will think. Some friends may pressure you to do something because "everyone else does it," such as making fun of someone. One of the biggest challenges that you may have to face is standing up to a friend.

Here are tips to help you handle a disagreement with a friend:

• You always have the right to say "no" to your friend whenever you want to. In a healthy friendship, you should not be afraid of losing a friend because you say "no." Good friends should respect your right to say no about anything and not give you a hard time. It is important that you show your friend the same respect when they say no to you.

• If you and your friend disagree about something or have an argument, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. You will not always agree with what your friend has to say. As long as you and your friend can talk to one another and listen to what each person has to say, you should be able to work through a disagreement. Healthy friendships involve trust and being able to respect each other's differences.

• The friends that you make and the relationships you develop will help you learn a lot about yourself. Your friendships may be the most important thing to you right now. You will find out what things you like to do together but more importantly, you will learn about the kind of friends you want to have and the kind of friend you want to be to others.

Remember that healthy relationships are about feeling good about who YOU are and feeling SAFE with another person. You have the power to create healthy relationships all around you just by paying attention to who you are inside and what makes you happy. By getting to know yourself, it will get easier to recognize the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Communication, trust and respect are the key ingredients for healthy relationships.

Written By: Moira Traci, YWRC Intern and Phaedra Thomas, RN BSN, Resource Center Coordinator Edited by CYWH staff