Can Girls and Guys Be Just Friends?

By Candace Pearson

While sitting around after dinner the other night with my oldest daughter and my husband, the subject came up of friendships between guys and girls. My daughter was talking about one of her guy friends, and my husband spoke up with the opinion that it's not possible for boys and girls to be friends without it turning into "something else" along the way.

"I was a teen boy once," he said. "Trust me...even if they start off just being your friend, hormones are raging and they eventually look at the girl with other things on their mind. The only time it doesn’t happen is if he is a) already involved with someone else or, b) doesn’t find the girl attractive. And then, he may go after her anyway!"

Well, that all may be true. However, since junior high, I've always had a friendship with at least one guy that never led to anything more, so I know it's possible. I believe it's more complicated for several reasons, but here are the two big ones:

First of all, I know there are times you get attracted to each other -- how could you not if you have the kind of friendship where they know everything about you and you know all about them, and you're together all the time? If you find yourself in that position with your best guy friend, I think the thing to ask yourself is: how important is the friendship? Because if you decide to get involved and it doesn’t work out, you really can’t go back. You can try, but it will never be the same. Is it worth it?

Second of all, the friendship is often ruined when other people come into the picture. If you start dating, or your friend hooks up with a girl, your relationship with each other can get pulled apart because the new boyfriend/girlfriend may start to feel jealous and uncomfortable with the idea that you may be sharing things with another guy/girl and not them. Unfortunately, that’s a reality with opposite-sex friendships and it’s something that should be understood between you and your friend as a possible deal-breaker down the road.

In the end, I think friendships between guys and girls are important. It’s a great way to learn how to build a good relationship with someone of the opposite sex and also, get into their head and figure out how they think! There isn’t the same competitive pressure that you have with friends of the same sex either. As long as there are ground rules set, no secret agendas, and you’re willing to take a bit of a risk, a friendship between the sexes can be one of the most satisfying relationships you’ll ever have.

Article courtesy of www.suite101.com.