Overprotective Parent: A Mother's Story
By Teresa Brouwer
As the mother of three daughters, I couldn’t wait until the teenage years. I was looking forward to talking about boys, make-up, school dances, and proms. I was excited to share my high school memories with them and to let them know that I understood their feelings about growing up.
When my oldest daughter was fourteen years old, I encouraged her to volunteer at our local Humane Society. She received the Volunteer of the Year Youth Award two years in a row.
I taught all my daughters about self-love, self-respect, self-dignity and I told them that they are worth having a fulfilling future. I directed them towards having dreams and goals, but most of all to always put their own needs first.
When my oldest daughter turned sixteen years old, things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. She demanded more privileges and wanted to do more things. She was dating this boy and their relationship was becoming more serious. I knew that I had to compromise and let her experience life just a little bit.
No matter what I let her do, it wasn’t enough. She wanted to go to a rock concert at a local restaurant; I forbid it as the establishment served alcohol. A sixteen-year old girl didn’t need to be in that kind of atmosphere at such a young age. But to her, I was overprotective and too strict.
My daughter’s curfew was 11:30pm on weekends, she had permission to ride in the car with her boyfriend, she went to the movies and out to dinner with friends, friends slept over the house, and she had a full-time job making good money in the summer.
She asked for a belly ring, tongue ring, and a tattoo. I told her when she moves out of my house that she could do what ever she wants, but until then she has to stand by my rules.
I compromised and gave her some privileges, but kept her from doing what I felt was inappropriate for her age. I listened to her feelings, argued with her a lot, kept her off the phone when she disobeyed, and gave her more privileges when she earned them.
When my daughter turned seventeen, a senior in high school, she moved out of the house and moved in with her boyfriend. She felt that my husband and I were too strict and that we were overprotective. What more did she need to do?
Her actions felt like a slap in the face. I believe that I compromised fairly, but it obviously wasn’t enough.
As parents, we instill good morals and values in our kids. We teach them right from wrong. Raise them to treat people the way they want to be treated, but kids seem to do what they want anyway. Raising kids for eighteen years, I always heard the word, consistency. Children must be told things over and over again and on a regular basis. I’ve been told that kids do listen and they do hear us: that in time all good things will come from our upbringing.
It has been a year since she left. She is going to college for law, bought herself a car, and is still working. I am proud of her for continuing her life and not putting it on the back burner for someone else.
Kids do listen to their parents. My daughter still hasn’t gotten a tattoo or a tongue ring. She is responsible and truly respects herself, exactly the way I raised her. I could say that I am a proud mom.
About the Author:
Teresa Brouwer self-published her first book, Rainbow Wishes and Colorful Dreams: A Self-Discovery Journal for Mothers and Daughters Celebrating Life with Xlibris. She is currently writing her second book called, Teardrops on Roses: Violence Awareness and Survival Techniques for Young Women, and is researching her third book. For more information about Teresa's first book, please go to her website at www.alwaysthinkingofyou.com.
Article courtesy of www.Suite101.com.
