Let's Talk About Sex
By Teresa Brouwer
On August 21st, 2003, Oprah had a show about sex and the difference of opinions between older women and younger women. There were amazingly different views. A lot of the older women 40’s and over, felt that sex is supposed to be between two people who love each other and that there should be a marital bond between the two partners. The younger group – 30’s and under, have a different point of view. They feel that today there is more of a sexual freedom and one person called it, “recreational sex.” Another person said that girls kiss each other to attract men in clubs and that sex doesn’t have to be so personal anymore. That sex is more acceptable and that people don’t expect a phone call the next day.
What about sex between our teenagers? My first kiss was when I was thirteen years old and I was the only virgin in my circle of friends for a long time. For a long time, meant at least seventeen years old. But today, over 30% of ninth-graders have had intercourse and 12-year olds are performing oral sex and they feel it is no big deal. To them, it is like a peck on the cheek. It is an act that is not emotional, so therefore, they will participate.
Hilda Hutcherson, M.D., author of “What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex,” said on the Oprah show that when she had teens in her office, they had no idea what sex was truly all about. They didn’t know anything about their body functions and how they work and they didn’t know about their anatomy.
When I went to school in the 80’s, I have to honestly say that not too much has changed. My friends in school all had sex and the majority experienced abortions and miscarriages before the age of seventeen years old. Although I was the last to lose her virginity, I was the first to get pregnant and married at eighteen years old.
According to the Sun News, S.C. an article called, "Teen Pregnancy at Lowest Level Since 1973" states that, “Nationwide, there were about 880,000 teen pregnancies in 1996. 62% of them were 18 and 19 years olds; the rest were 15 to 17 years old. The report did not look at teens younger than 15.”
In 1995, about 40% of ninth graders have had sexual intercourse, and 20% of high schoolers had at least four partners. (McCall’s/August 1995)
In 1995, 513,000 teens in the U.S. gave birth, but this doesn’t include statistics involving miscarriages and abortions.
So, why do so many teens have sex? Is it about validation? Is it based on low self-esteem? Is it to be a part of the crowd? Are they looking for love in all the wrong places? Are they doing it for emotional reasons? Are they emotionally ready? Do they feel this is a way “to keep” the one they love? Are they doing it for simple pleasure? Or are they emotionally unstable?
When comparing the two genders, females today are reaching menarche at a younger age; in other words, their first menstrual period may appear before the age of 12 years old. With this, girls feel differently once their menstrual cycle starts. Their hormones are changing in which they are more emotional, they have mixed feelings of excitement, and embarrassment, pride, and they feel a sense of maturity. According to Psychology by David G. Myers, “Some girls start their growth spurt at 9, some boys as late as 16.”
Once a child starts her menstrual cycle, hormones change. They experience different feelings both sexual and emotional.
With this in mind, having a menstrual cycle and reaching puberty at a younger age means that society as well as parents hope that their children could hold out and save their virginity for about ten years (based on the age of 12 years old). Parents raise their kids to hold out until marriage. Ten years of holding out until marriage would make the child holding out until the age of 22 years old.
Can a person hold out that long? Do teenagers experience sexual feelings? Can we compare teenage hormones with adult hormones?
If a boy's growth spurt starts at 16, who is to say that that boy isn’t having sex with a 12- year old girl; a 16- year old boy and a 12- year old girl more than likely will have the same maturity level.
With all this, the one question that remains is why are so many teens sexually active?
Occurences since January 1, 2003-until today – 323,416 babies have been born to unwed teenage girls. Go to www.at-risk.com for more information.
About the Author:
Teresa Brouwer self-published her first book, Rainbow Wishes and Colorful Dreams: A Self-Discovery Journal for Mothers and Daughters Celebrating Life with Xlibris. She is currently writing her second book called, Teardrops on Roses: Violence Awareness and Survival Techniques for Young Women, and is researching her third book. For more information about Teresa's first book, please go to her website at www.alwaysthinkingofyou.com.
Article courtesy of www.Suite101.com.
