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When Love Hurts

Author: Teresa Brouwer

Published on: August 11, 2004

Teenagers and parents are always at a battle in the adolescent years. Although most of us have wonderful relationships with our parents, it is friends and peers who seem to understand each other the most.

Young kids have a bond that they share that is so strong. They are all going through the same transitions, they have the same relationships with their parents, and their hormones are out of wack. With this, teenage love and friendships are the most powerful bond we will ever experience.

When things go bad (or at least when we think they are going bad), a lot of people will turn to a significant other. This is also known as young love. When our parents don't understand us, don't take our thoughts and feelings seriously, we tend to turn to others; our peers, friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends.

Young love is very real. I truly believe that a young adolescent is truly in love with their partner. I believe that the feelings they share are very real and very strong.

At times, we become blindsided to things because we are so hungry for acceptance and love. With this in mind, we cannot ignore what is right and what is wrong.

Teenage dating violence is very common in our society. An average of 28% of high school and college students experience dating violence at some point. Brustin, S., Legal Response to Teen Dating Violence; Family Law Quarterly, vol. 29, no. 2, 331 (Summer 1995).

One in five female highschool students report being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey August 2001.

When young love turns violent, we need to stop this violence in its tracks. This kind of behavior is unacceptable. No one deserves to be hit or pushed around. When a person hits or degrades another, this is not "love," but rather violence, power, and control.

As much as we are at a battle with our parents, we must remember that it is our parents who truly love us. Our parents will always be there to protect us from harm. We must tell our parents that something is wrong. Hiding violence and ignoring it hoping that it will go away is not the way to solve it or resolve it.

Young kids and adults must realize that they are worth it. They are worth having a happy life and they are worth being treated with respect and dignity. No one deserves to be hit. If you are being abused in any way, tell someone. Telling someone that you are being abused, either by a significant other or a parent, is your door to freedom. Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD or call your local domestic hotline number.

There are many signs of an abuser:

1. Jealous of friends

2. Alienates a person from family and friends

3. Pushes and shoves

4. Obsessive jealousy of the opposite sex

5. Wants to share a locker

6. Gives partner a cell phone or beeper as a gift

7. Wants to see partner all the time

8. Calls the house constantly

9. Abuses alcohol and drugs

10. Name calling and spreads rumors

There are many signs, and I believe that the signs are always there. Be open-minded about your relationships. Educate yourself about violence and demand respect! Everyone deserves to lead a happy and peaceful life.