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Date Rape: What a Girl Needs to Know

Author: Sara Jamison

Published on: May 1, 2000

It's one of those situations you hear about and think "That would never happen to me," but you should know that you could become a statistic of date rape if you're not careful.

Date rape, also known as "acquaintance rape," is considered unwanted intercourse with someone you know. According to a nationwide study conducted on college campuses, 52% of women students have experienced some form of sexual victimization, with one out of eight college women being victims of rape. Unfortunately, these violent sexual encounters are generally left unreported. Why? Because women feel that since they are in a relationship with the man, it is not considered rape. But rape is a violent act, not passion.

It seems as though most date rapes occur under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs. Most are with the assistance of a drug called Rohypnol, a drug that is dissolved in drinks at parties and dates. This drug, often called "roofies," "ruffies," "roach," and other various names, causes a sedative effect, amnesia, slowing of responses, and muscle relaxation. According to Emergency Net News,, "sedation occurs 20-30 minutes after administration and lasts for several hours." The drug taken alone can cause respiratory depression, aspiration, and even death, while using it with alcohol just intensifies the effects. Men take this opportunity to take physical advantage of women, leaving the woman clueless as to what happened.

There are many reasons why date rape occurs. Often times it is mixed signals. The man interprets the woman's "no" as a "maybe" and doesn't understand when "no" means "no." If the woman mildly protests, the man might take this as a challenge. "Although acquaintance rape is often a spontaneous act," states the article "Friends Raping Friends -- Could it Happen to You?", "many are planned, some days in advance, others in the preceding hour(s)...they usually look for victims who are unassertive--perhaps someone who is not very popular and would be flattered to go on a date with him." They also look for a woman who is out to "have a good time" or is often encourageable.

Now I'm not saying that every guy you date should be considered a possible rapist. I'm just saying that a person needs to be careful, and there's many ways to be cautious while still having a good time on a date. Here are some things you can do to protect yourself:

* Trust your gut -- if your stomach is telling you there is something different about your date, whether it be him making you feel uncomfortable or if there's just something "odd" about the way he acts, confront him or leave the situation.

* Avoid secluded places -- most rapes occur when the man and woman are alone. This is more critical at the beginning of the relationship when you are still trying to get to know your date. Only go where you feel safe and comfortable.

* When at a party, never take your eye off of your drink -- doing so gives someone the perfect opportunity to slip the date rape drug into your open beverage. According to Rohypnol Alert: The Daterape Drug of Choice, "If you are to be drinking, you are strongly advised to drink only from tamper-proof bottles or better yet, from cans, and to insist that you open them yourself."

* Double date or date in groups the first few times with a new man -- this reduces the possibility of being alone with your date if you don't want to be. It's also a great buddy system in the event one of you wants to jet.

* Pay your way -- if at all possible, pay your way, whether it be for dinner or a movie. Some men feel that if they pay for your night, they expect something in return. Not always, but sometimes.

* Have an alternative way home -- if you can, meet your date at the planned location. Having a ride yourself is handy in the event you are in a situation in which you must leave.

If you find yourself stuck in a situation of rape, there are various ways to get out of the situation without being harmed. The "Friends Raping Friends" article is a great resource in learning about acquaintance rape and what to do in the event you are being forced into sexual activity.

Remember, if you have been raped, call authorities. You can get help, and remember -- no one asks to be raped.