Breaking Up for the Better
By Jon Choate
Breaking up is never fun, sometimes it might be a relief, but it’s never fun. Usually there’s too much anger involved, not to mention she’ll probably get her friends mad at you unless you’ve already done that for her. Whatever the case, breaking up with your girl is not normally something desirable but there are things that can be learned from the experience, things that might lessen the changes of it happening in the future. What are these things? How you screwed up. That’s right, what you did wrong. Believe it or not gentleman, we are far from perfect, no matter how many times she tells you that, it’s not true, otherwise why does she break up with you further down the road?
Part of the problem comes from her side, often she doesn’t give you the real reasons why she’s breaking up with you, or more moderately, why she thinks you shouldn’t see each other anymore. What you’ve got to do is not let her get away with that, if she’s saying goodbye than you’re getting something too, you’re getting why. This could be hard, she might not want to hurt you, or she’s too uncomfortable with the whole ending-relationship thing to open up again. You’ve got to be persistent.
To start off, go to her friends. Be polite and chivalrous as mentioned in some of my previous articles and squeeze whatever information you can get out of them. The story your ex-girlfriend told them is probably different than what she told you. This will give you a path to start on, for instance, when trying to get into the subject of where you screwed up when talking to your ex, you could bring up the failures she told her friends and have her elaborate. This is a good way to get the ball rolling into the truth.
If her friends are tight-lipped you’re in between a rock and a hard place but the information can still be grabbed. Go to her and beg. I myself cringe at the thought, but if you tell her something along the lines of how you know you messed up sometimes, and you know that the relationship is over but you want to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes again in the future she might warm up a bit and share. Something to remember, no matter how cold, harsh, or biting what she says is, don’t reject it off hand, we are usually the worst judges of ourselves. Listen, let it digest, and then maybe go into discussion further.
A breakup isn’t always bad. In high school relationships aren’t usually as serious as they are farther down the line. This makes them great practice for that amazing stroke of luck who knows how many years from now when you find that one girl that we all dream about.
About the Author:
What to say? I'm a sophomore in high-school who loves to write fiction, non-fiction, drama, and especially poetry. I'm a captain of my school's JV basketball team, (although snails with crippling birth-defects could outjump me.) I'm an actor, actively involved in the theatre at my school. I play violin in the Youth Symphony on Honolulu. I party on the weekends. I am your stereotypical, shooting for success, overworked, stressed, exhausted teen, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Article courtesy of www.suite101.com.
